Jesus is for losers.

I’ve passed this day in a mental fog, having slept only two hours last night due to having bad indigestion and vomiting. Not sure what the cause of all that was, though Rebekah had been sick earlier in the day yesterday. All of us took it sort of easy today. Sikki was very tired this morning and of course so was I, so we watched a movie and rested.

I still feel pretty lethargic, probably from lying around for two weeks. Tomorrow I will attempt to do something physical again (lifting weights/pushups/light jogging) to see how the lungs are doing. Still wheezing and congested today. I need to get back on my feet because I am feeling fat and slow and tired.

Because my mind is so foggy I didn’t accomplish anything of importance today. I did some dishes and cleaned up the house a bit while Sikki took the kids to the store. They are in the dining room making Christmas cards to mail to people. My wife always gets the kids involved in making homemade Christmas cards. They seem to be enjoying themselves out there.

I have started the past several days with a mental list of tasks I wanted to complete that day: call Bobby G, write or call Don G back in Delaware, clean up the yard, winterize the mechanized lawn tools, try to get the power washer working and blast the front door and steps, change the oil in the Suburban, things and stuff.

None of it gets done. I don’t have the energy. It’s depressing.

I have been keenly aware of my need for a Savior in the past couple of days. There is nothing good in me and nothing I can do to earn His love and favor. I can only put my hope in Him and place my messy, small life in His hands.

If I was driven
Driven ahead by some noble ideal
Who took the wheel?
If I was given
Given a glimpse of some glorious road
When was it sold?

So caught up in the chase
I keep forgetting my place

Just as I am
I am stiff-necked and proud
Jesus is for losers
Why do I still play to the crowd?
Just as I am
Pass the compass, please
Jesus is for losers
I’m off about a hundred degrees

If I was groping
Groping around for some ladder to fame
I am ashamed
If I was hoping
Hoping respect would make a sturdy footstool
I am a fool

Bone-weary every climb
Blindsided every time

Just as I am
I am needy and dry
Jesus is for losers
The self-made need not apply
Just as I am
In a desert crawl
Lord, I’m so thirsty
Take me to the waterfall

And if you’re certain
Certain your life is some cosmic mistake
Why do you shake?
And if you’re certain
Certain that faith is some know-nothing mask
Why do you still ask?

They don’t grade here on the curve
We both know what we deserve

Just as you are
Just a wretch like me
Jesus is for losers
Grace from the blood of a tree
Just as we are
At a total loss
Jesus is for losers
Broken at the foot of the cross
Just as I am
Pass the compass, please
Jesus is for losers
I’m off about a hundred degrees
Just as I am
In a desert crawl
Lord, I’m so thirsty
Take me to the waterfall

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Author: Steve Hobbs

I live and write near the beaches of Brunswick County, NC. I entered this fallen reality in 1975. My wife Sikki and I were married in 1997. We have five children. I am a follower of Jesus and a seeker of truth.

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