I have missed ten days of work as a result of the recent troubles. Today marks the first passing of a payday in nearly ten years when I did not receive anything, due to being out of paid time. I can’t remember when short-term disability kicks in; knowing my employer it is probably 15 days or something way far out.
I read in 2 Timothy as I drank coffee this morning. Then I took the kids to their homeschool activity group at the Baptist church up the road. From there I drove straight to the beach for a morning walk. The sand and dunes were deserted at that hour. I made a video while I was there. It was uncomfortable to hold my Kindle at arm’s length for very long — I guess that’s why someone invented selfie sticks.
When I got home, I spent a couple hours in silence, seeking God. I sat in the sunshine in the backyard and listened to the breeze in the pines. I watched gulls circling in the blue sky above the salt marsh. I took my shirt off and invited the warmth into my chest and the breeze into my nostrils.
Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.
It was very quiet except for the sound of someone hammering somewhere on the other side of the Intracoastal Waterway. When I pray I try to remind myself not to bother God too much, but to try and enjoy Him and be aware of Him. The goal of prayer (and life) is union with God, sharing perfect love with God.
At the same time, I am feeling depressed and tired. It’s not that I want anything. Except for a new job. The guy who was supposed to be filling in for my sales route today called to let me know he was having to run a truck (delivery) route AND try to do my job. I was really angry when I heard that: the world is constantly distressed because of the love of money.
I am supposed to go back to work Monday, so long as the Occ Health doctor in Wilmington releases me.