Today is Tuesday. I have worked the first two days of the workweek trying to seek the presence and purpose of the King of kings.
On Sunday morning in church I felt an urgency to give a prophetic utterance during the song service but the timing didn’t seem right. I held back even though my heart was pounding and I really felt I needed to speak. I thought at the time it was for the whole church. The song service ended and the guest speaker gave his message. But at the end he asked if anyone had a word for him. He said he had a sense all week long that someone was going to give him a message. No one said anything and he went to sit down. My heart was pounding again.
I’ve given a few prophetic words in the past, but I am always unsure of myself. I wonder whether I am really hearing from God, or whether my thoughts are just running wild. The uncertainty is a concern for me because I know that Muhammad was unsure whether God was speaking to him: he believed he was hearing from a jinn. (One of his wives convinced him that his message was from God and he has gone forth to conquer and slay ever since.)
Anyway when the man asked if anyone had a word for him, I prayed and asked God not to let me represent Him poorly, and I stood up and went up front and delivered a message. I could barely remember what I said to him afterward.
I only mention it here because I really do desire to operate in spiritual giftings, words of knowledge, healings, tongues, etc. I want to be available to speak life and hope and correction — whatever God sees fit. The perfect man is a man who has let his ego wither, and seeks nothing of his own glory. I really don’t think God wants a bunch of rock star disciples. I think the aim of life should be the glory of God and Him alone. If He chooses to honor someone, that is His affair. I don’t need to be “Mr. Personality” and have everyone like me. I only want to be obedient to His purpose today.