A man of God named Dennis Degrasse spoke this to me on February 23, 2003, at 8:10 PM at Abundant Life Church in Georgetown, Delaware:
Steve, I have the word of the Lord for you. God says His call upon your life is a sure call and it’s a true call. And God says He’s allowing you a time to adjust, a time for your family. But God says you need to be careful and watch even your emotions and your feelings. He says you need to watch over these things because He’s got a call on your life and because of that the enemy is going to attack you. He’s going to attack your soul, he’s going to attack your mind, he’s going to attack your emotions because he sees some of the weight and the glory that God has for you in your life. He’s going to do anything he can to cause you to stumble and fall, and God says be aware, son. Be aware because My call upon you is a sure call. I’ve not changed My mind because of any circumstances, says the Lord. I’ve not changed My MIND because of any circumstances, says the Lord. I have NOT changed my MIND because of any circumstances, says the Lord!
And God says you need to go get back at it — you need to get yourself back in the harness. He says that’s where you’re the happiest, that’s where you’re fulfilled, and that’s where your sense of completeness is. Not just in knowing God but in serving God, because He’s called you to it. It’s a lifetime call. It’s more than just a call: it’s your vocation. It’s more than a vocation: it’s who you are. You’re His man. Bless you.
The grace and mercy of God were revealed to me in this, especially the part where he said God had not changed His mind because of any circumstances. He spoke that very forcefully and was near shouting. At the time, I was in love with a woman I worked with, constantly lying, consumed with lust and pride, and Jessica and I were (of course) having serious problems. I probably didn’t even want to be in church that night. The messenger had no idea about this — no one did except me and the woman. His words were clearly of God.
The church gave me a copy of the prophecy on cassette; I transcribed it and have carried it around in my Bible for the past 12 years. Recently I began thinking about it again and realized that, although I have turned to a more honest lifestyle and am in a better place with my family as a father and husband, I have not been obedient to “getting back in the harness.” I have avoided commitment to ministry (service) for various reasons, but mostly because I felt a sense of alienation from evangelical religious practices and the Church itself.
The Lord impressed on my heart a couple of months ago that when I do not recognize or even desire the opportunities He brings, and further, when I don’t speak or act on those opportunities, I am withholding love from Him. Withholding love from the Church is withholding love from Christ.
With all my heart, Father, I offer myself to you and make myself available to your purpose. I volunteer my time, my creative energies, my longings, the whole entirety of my capabilities is in Your hand. Help me to be obedient and not to miss the real thing. Be merciful to me, oh my God.